I Dreamed a Dream

I think one of the saddest songs I've ever heard is "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables. It is so beautiful, but it breaks my heart every time I hear it. There is one verse in particular that makes me want to cry.  Fantine sings, "I dreamed a dream in times gone by, when hope was high and life worth living: I dreamed that love would never die! I dreamed that God would be forgiving!"

I always wish I could talk to her. I would tell her, "He does!  Oh, He does forgive!"  I believe that with all of my heart.  I would be the first to tell anyone who doubted that He does.  I would do everything I could to show them.

But I don't live it.

The past few months, I feel like I've been trying to make it on my own.  I know in my head that I can never be good enough on my own, but I still try.  It is one thing to tell others to turn their sin over to God and depend on Him; it is a completely different matter to turn my own sin over to Him.

The truth is, I don't want to rely on Him.  I want to be good enough on my own.  I feel like I can't give Him my sins, or let Him see them, because if I did, maybe He wouldn't love me.  I also struggle with wondering if He even would forgive the sins I've committed after coming to Him.  It is so clear to me that I have fallen short, but instead of driving me to Him, it just makes me try harder.  I'm weighed down, and every time I fall, my burden gets heavier. Like Fantine, I have abandoned the dream that God forgives.

But, oh!  Our God is mighty to save! What a Lover He is!

 He gets down on His knees, takes my face in His hands and says, "Come to me, you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Mt. 11: 28-30) "Oh, Beloved, give it to me. Let me carry it.  Rest yourself in me.

"God does forgive, dear heart. He overflows with love for you.  He doesn't treat you as your sins deserve. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed your transgressions from you.  He loves you like a Father.  He knows what you are, because He made you, and He still loves you. (Ps. 103:8-14)

"He loves you so much! To prove it, while you were still a sinner, I died for you! (Romans 5:8)  Nothing in all creation can separate you from my love. (Romans 8:38-39) He doesn't count your sins against you. God made me to be sin for you, so that through me, you could be His righteousness. (2 Corinthians 5:19-21)

"Not only does He forgive you, He is faithful, and He purifies you. (1 John 1:9) My sacrifice was enough, once for all. I have made you perfect forever, as you are being made holy. I have made a way--draw near to God. There is nothing more that needs to be paid." (Hebrews 10)

It isn't a dream, Fantine. God has done everything to forgive us. Love did die, but He rose again, and will always be with us.  Cling to that truth.