My Times in Your Hands

"But I trust in you, O Lord; 

I say, 'You are my God.' 

My times are in your hands." 

(Psalm 31:14-15a)

Sometimes I just can't wait for my life to begin.  I can't wait to graduate from college.  I can't wait to publish my first book.  I can't wait to get married.  I can't wait to have my own house.  I can't wait to have kids.  I just can't wait.  

This is reflected in my thoughts, and even my prayers.  I am almost never thinking about now.  It is always the future.  I pray for things far down the road, "Lord, please let this happen.  Please don't let it take long.  Let it happen now." 

And yet, what is going to happen when those things do arrive?  I'll already be looking to the next one and wishing it would come, instead of enjoying the gifts God has given me in the present.  How foolish I am!  Rushing from one thing to the next! I worry so much about the future I don't have any time to be content in the now. 

Oh, God.  I know my times are in your hands.  Let me leave them there, instead of always trying to snatch them away as if I knew better than you.  Help me to savor this part of my life, so that I can really live my life instead of spending all of it waiting to.  Let everything happen in your perfect time, not in my time, Lord.  I trust you.  You are my God.

Even the Darkness

  

Where can I go from your Spirit? 

Where can I flee from your presence?  

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; 

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea, 

even there your hand will guide me, 

your right hand will hold me fast. 

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me 

and the light become night around me," 

even the darkness will not be dark to you; 

the night will shine like the day, 

for darkness is as light to you. 

(Psalm 139:7-12)

It's about 7:00 am. I've been up since 3:30.  Ahh, jet lag.  

And yet, I sort of like being the only creature awake.  As I told a friend the other day, it is nice to be alone with one's own thoughts.  

But a song from when I was little crept into my mind, and I was reminded that I was not the only one awake!

 Even the darkness is light to Him
And night is as bright as the day!
So you are safe though the light grows dim
For even the darkness is light to Him.

The Father above does not slumber or sleep
He wakefully watches our ways;
Then there's no reason for you to weep
For the Father above neither slumbers nor sleeps.
(Michael Card, Even the Darkness)

Even in the darkest night, He can still see me.  There is nowhere I can go where I am out of His reach.  He knows my thoughts, and nothing can separate me from Him!  What a promise to rest our weary souls in!  With His hands that promise to always hold us, how can we not sleep in peace?!

I think I'll go back to bed.